Deadpool's Worst NiGhtMaRe!
by I am Pseudonymous
Summary: This was inspired by a line I read in a fic called The Bloody Boys by Luki, "There's a cow in the tree. Armed to the teeth and completely lacking in sanity."


**AN: **Ok standard procedure starting with, Disclaimer: I clearly don't own Deadpool or KHR. Oh, and this contains SWEARING. Shocking I know.

Flames will be doused in seawater.

Constructive criticism welcome.

**0o0o0**

Tsuna, Gokudera, and Reborn were all in Tsuna's room. The former two studying, while the sadistic tutor lies in wait to punish Tsuna for any mistakes. In search of any sort of relief from this torture Tsuna eventually looked towards the window.

He was completely shocked to see a heavily armed toddler dressed as a cow. The toddler had what could only be called a look of psychotic glee. Lambo of course thought he was in the perfect spot to ambush his fated rival. Unaware that he had been spotted, he prepared to attack.

If you lovely readers are true Deadpool fans then you most likely have an inkling where this is going. If you're just here wondering why I made a KHR, Deadpool crossover, sit back and enjoy the crack.

Just as the branch he stood on snapped, a man appeared in the middle of the room with a shout of, "Stupid Teleporter!" Reborn being the only one not shocked silly was immediately on guard against this strange man in red. He was clearly another hitman; it just remains to be seen whether he was hostile or not.

Finally he looked up at the shocked faces around him and waved cheerfully.

"Hey, I'm Deadpool. Sorry to interrupt your little study sesh here, but my teleporter's been on the fritz lately. Never know quite where I'll end up! It makes for some interesting encounters."

Tsuna's sputtering was ignored of course.

"How'd you get in here American?!" Gokudera snarled at the masked man.

Deadpool couldn't believe his ears.

"I'm Canadian you fucker! And I told you my teleporter is malfunctioning. Kinda like your brain."

Of course this is when Lambo makes his grand entrance.

"Lambo has arrived!"

"Wow, what the fuck? Is that a cow? That is a fucking cow wearing the skin of a toddler! I tried to tell them this day would come! That one day cows were going to kill us all! I just never thought they'd start with babies. Soulless monsters infecting the young!"

By this point Deadpool had backed himself into a wall continuing to ramble as the others just stared in confusion.

"Umm, Lambo is only here to kill Reborn-san."

Lambo was unsure what to do in this situation but was enjoying the fear this man showed for him. He is the Great Lambo-sama and deserves respect!

Then it occured to Lambo. This man looked strong. Maybe he could help where Lambo had never succeeded.

Without thinking Lambo launched himself at the man.

Deadpool screeched and fired a couple shots that missed in his blind panic.

Just as the now terrified toddler was about to connect with the equally terrified merc, Deadpool leapt on top of the nearby dresser. He immediately started banging on the ceiling and begging to be let out of this shit show.

No one paid any mind to Lambo as he slammed face first into the wall. That is until, teary eyed and snot nosed, he pulls a giant purple bazooka from his afro.

"Holy bejeazuz! Did that just come out of his hair? Dear author in all your evil glory please make this nightmare end! I don't wanna _know _what else is in there."

Then there was a ploom of smoke and a much older Lambo was now standing before them.

Deadpool shuddered in abject horror, "He's grown into the dead, soulless eyes of his kind."

And he turned to start banging on the ceiling again, "If you don't let me out of here right this fucking instant I'll find my own way out, and I will kill you!"

**Right, teleporter is fixed and there is a basket of the cutest kittens you will ever find waiting at home for you. Please don't kill me?**

Deadpool vanished from the room with an excited squeal of "Kitties" leaving behind the very confused group.

For the next week Gokudera would be even more paranoid and protective of Tsuna, Tsuna would be even more skittish, and Reborn will never admit it, but he fails to figure out the red man's identity or who he may have been working for.


End file.
